GOATMILK: An intellectual playground edited by Wajahat Ali

** [TWO STARS - A disappointing thriller with some atrocious acting]

“Not much is happening with M. Night Shyamalan’s newest thriller The Happening.” In fact, this review’s opening line – lame, predictable, slightly amusing – reflects the experience of watching the much hyped “comeback” movie by the former wunderkind who made us see “dead people.”

Shyalaman’s notorious falling out with Disney and major Hollywood players over recent years has been a fascinating exercise in witnessing either a completely suicidal career move or a brave, renegade act of creative independence. Judging from his latest and his last movie, the colossal flop Lady in the Water, it seems the former might be true.

For those in the dark, Night publicly broke with long time studio partner Disney when they urged re-writes on his original script treatment for Lady in the Water. In the entertaining tell-all book The Man Who Heard Voices: Or, How M. Night Shyamalan Risked His Career on a Fairy Tale by Michael Bamberger, Shyamalan said he felt Disney “no longer valued individualism…no longer valued fighters.” After viewing Lady, it seemed Disney didn’t value simplistic, underwritten fantasy yarns. Warner Brothers picked up the tab on his latest project urging him to amp up the violence and extremity and aim for an “R” rating, which is Shyamalan’s first.

For those wishing for Night’s return to his roots, keep wishing. This comeback is as memorable and effective as the recent Spice Girls’ reunion. The newest movie starts promisingly as the audience immediately confronts a series of visually arresting and jarring vignettes showing seemingly normal citizens undergoing massive paralysis followed by gruesome, inexplicable suicides. We are then introduced to our protagonist, a Philadelphia high school science teacher played by Mark Wahlberg – easily his worst acting role in over a decade – who informs his students that in nature sometimes there are “forces at work beyond our understanding.” The plots moves quickly establishing a sense of urgency and panic as more and more Northeastern cities and parks are hit by the assumed “terrorist attack.”

The order is officially given to evacuate the city and head to rural areas and we’re off with Marky Mark, his estranged wife played by Zooey Deschanel, his best friend, the underused but effective John Leguizamo, and his near mute daughter.

As the movie progresses Shyamalan hints at several theories explaining the tragic phenomenon; some hypothesize it’s a terrorist, biological weapon acting as an airborne chemical toxin, others say its a natural toxin blocking our neurotransmitters and reversing our self preservation system, and yet others suggest it’s simply nature fighting back with a vengeance.

Shyamalan provides enough visual cues and dialogue to unsubtly “preach” a hokey, “save the earth” didactic explanation by the end of the movie. It’s almost as if Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” was turned into a poorly written, vacantly acted “boogieman” movie.

What frustrates the audience is we know Night, a gifted filmmaker, is able to create and sustain a mood of unrelenting tension and suspense. Night works best when he uses the extraordinary to illuminate the ordinary, and the ordinary to comprehend the extraordinary. Furthermore, the fantastical experiences and environments he creates allows his damaged and alienated characters to eventually “redeem” themselves by rediscovering purpose and meaning. Their confrontation with the unknown phenomenons allows them to heal and reconnect with their loved ones. This narrow, microscopic focus on “character” helps anchor the audience’s emotional investment in the actors who are confronted by paranormal and inexplicable circumstances. Mel Gibson’s decision to save his family and fight the aliens allows him to rediscover his faith and overcome the paralyzing grief caused by his wife’s death. Bruce Willis embraces his inner superhero and confronts the serial killer, slowly and surely bridging the emotional gulf in his marital relationship. These characters and themes are illuminated against a very entertaining, Hollywood yarn, whether it be the ghost story, the comic book superhero narrative or the alien invasion.

The greatest misstep in The Happening is that the actors, especially the leads Walhberg and Deschanel, are so wooden and awkwardly directed that they never emote the slightest bit of urgency, fear or exasperation. Furthermore, they have no chemistry and their apparent marital rift, which the dialogue reminds us of again and again, seems almost non-existent or nonthreatening. We’re stuck with watching the wooden, uncharismatic leads and random extras outrun “wind” for nearly 90 minutes without ever believing that they realize or acknowledge the severity of their situations. It seems the neurotoxin affected Shylaman’s pacing and editing.

If I would’ve been one of the characters in the movie, I would’ve cried like a school girl, probably wet myself thirteen times, and transformed into a paranoid, ranting stereotype. The movie has flashes of this paranoia and extreme violence but they come randomly and only for the purpose of creating the obligatory “action” and shock moment to remind the audience “See? There’s something Happening in case you forgot.”

A movie like this disappoints precisely because it portrays flashes of brilliance and such rich potential, especially in the hands of a capable filmmaker like Night. Worst of all, you just don’t care for the characters. Any one of them could have been knocked off by the serial killer “wind” and all I could’ve asked for was a nifty, gruesome death.

Let’s hope the once unbreakable director rediscovers his sixth sense for taut, entertaining film making.