Comments on: “Contemporary Muslim Woman Series”: The Way of Flesh: A Gendered Ultimate Nafsi Showdown

By: priya

priya — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:23:41 +0000

this is an interesting article. perhaps you’re right about what constitutes a man’s “ultimate nafsi battle” but i disagree with the woman’s battle as you have portrayed it. to boil it all down to sexuality is a bit too freudian. it’s also a rather biblical perspective of things reminding one of how eve diverted adam from the right path.

secondly, it makes it seem as though a woman’s primary role is to assist a man in his path to the divine. i believe women have that capacity which they fulfill through their roles as wives and mothers. but a woman who is neither (or even one that is both) still has her battles to fight that have little to do with the sway of her hips. her goal above all should be to seek God for herself.

basically, i believe that the “ultimate nafsi battle” is completely subjective and personal. a broad division of this battle along gender lines doesn’t make sense.

By: IAM

IAM — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:25:54 +0000

you know you understate the womans nafs
you barely give it any space
you have a bone to pick with men
and you pick it thoroughly
but there is no deeper investigation of that temptress and its characteristics

By: maghi85

maghi85 — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 02:11:14 +0000

a lot of the men I know, who are bought-up Sufis, are not so weak-minded and ego-centric as you portray men to be.
may be your exposure is of a very limited type of men and women

By: Sohail

Sohail — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:26:56 +0000

Aaliya,
I disagree with your comment on the premise that ideas and actions should be judged differently. You can take a single idea and use it to justify either a good action or a bad action. For example, let’s say I have the idea that humans are imperfect, which is a completely true, valid idea. Now, I can use that idea to justify that human race should be annhiliated or I could use it to justify going out and teaching people to be better. Does either action make the original idea either good or bad? Of course the idea is neither good nor bad, but it still remains true. It’s the action and person that should be judged in this case, not the idea. Islam, in a general sense, is a perfect example of this. Islam is a beautiful, profound religion, but some people use it to jusitify terrible actions. Do these terrible acts by a few people make the whole religion wrong? Again, it’s the person and the action that are wrong, not the religion. I will grant you that there are some genuinely bad ideas, but the one in this essay is not one of them.

As to your general idea that women should not be accountable for men’s sexual frustrations, I completely agree with you. That burden is borne by men and I think the author suggests that as well. I think what the author is saying about women and their struggle is that a women has the ability to tempt a man sexually and it’s her struggle not to exploit that ability. I don’t think anywhwere in her essay she suggested that women should be held responsible for men not ‘getting any’. On the contrary, her essay was about inner struggles, controlling one’s own behavior. The essay was not about controlling other people’s behavior. That was my reading of it anyway and it seems to make sense. Wallahu ‘alim.
wasalaam,
Sohail

By: Aaliya

Aaliya — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:07:31 +0000

I know this is ostensibly about polygamy but these sentences:

“A woman’s “ultimate nafsi battle” is to ensure man stays on the straight path (”sirat al-mustaqeem” in Arabic)-checking that temptation that calls for more and wants more. Woman’s nature is to tempt, and man’s to desire that temptation. But we as women do wrong if we tempt man in the direction of ourselves and not in the direction of God.”

Sound chillingly like the justification George Sondini used to shoot up a gym full of women in Pittsburgh, PA. Even worse, there are people who are saying “Oh he couldn’t get some and it just drove him to the edge,” as if the fault is with the women who were there, existing in their daily lives and tempting him their alive-ness, instead of sleeping with him.