Takeaways from the Election
- This election was a clear mandate for Muslim gay weed smoking socialist immigrants seeking marriage equality. Rainbow colored mud pies stuffed with marijuana for everyone!
- Accordingly, Fox News now prepares for the 4 horsemen and attack of zombie Marxists.
- Nate Silver is to statisticians what Jeremy Lin is to Asian American NBA players – he has officially made them accepted, sexy and mainstream (now a viable career for South Asians?)
- Islamophobia is a losing strategy (Joe Walsh and Allen West lost, Bachmann came close. West can slither into irrelevance much like his flat-top fade)
- Never mis-underestimate the power of a binder full of women running for Senate
- Karl Rove is so fringe and conspiracy-addled he even disturbed his fellow Fox Commentators last night with his unhinged comments
- Television pundits are mostly useless
- Pro-Obama South Asian Americans spontaneously erupt into Bhangra dancing upon hearing election results
- The country remains bitterly divided and the fringe extremists, albeit small in number, still exist
- People in D.C./Virginia get really dressed up for election parties (nerds)
- Cakes made in the shape of Obama should be both chocolate and vanilla, but filled with frosting and buttery goodness
- Nate Silver should have Thug Life tatted on his chest and can flick lit cigarettes into the envious, doubting eyes of incompetent pundits for at least a week
- You can win elections without seriously engaging climate change or immigration reform
- Billionaire Sheldon Adelson’s money doesn’t buy you an election, only an awkward, gaffe filled trip to Israel
- Over 70% of Jewish and Muslim voters unite on electing Obama, and nearly 35% of registered voters unite in believing our Christian President is Muslim and/or Jewish (that’s a real statistic, btw)
- Last night, Americans finally heard the death rattle of Whiteness – an ideology of supremacy based on politics and rhetoric of exclusion
- In the impending sharia controlled Islamic America, I really want to be the Caliph of Caliphornia, or, at the very least, Fremontistan.