GOATMILK: An intellectual playground edited by Wajahat Ali

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Takeaways from the Election

with 2 comments

Wajahat Ali



- This election was a clear mandate for Muslim gay weed smoking socialist immigrants seeking marriage equality. Rainbow colored mud pies stuffed with marijuana for everyone!

- Accordingly, Fox News now prepares for the 4 horsemen and attack of zombie Marxists.

- Nate Silver is to statisticians what Jeremy Lin is to Asian American NBA players – he has officially made them accepted, sexy and mainstream (now a viable career for South Asians?)

- Islamophobia is a losing strategy (Joe Walsh and Allen West lost, Bachmann came close. West can slither into irrelevance much like his flat-top fade)

– Ignoring “diverse” communities (this includes Whites, btw) and appealing solely to angry Whites is basically ignoring America (or, “the 47%”)

- Never mis-underestimate the power of a binder full of women running for Senate

- Karl Rove is so fringe and conspiracy-addled he even disturbed his fellow Fox Commentators last night with his unhinged comments

- Television pundits are mostly useless

- Pro-Obama South Asian Americans spontaneously erupt into Bhangra dancing upon hearing election results

- The country remains bitterly divided and the fringe extremists, albeit small in number, still exist

- People in D.C./Virginia get really dressed up for election parties (nerds)

- Never underestimate the passion and power of the youth

- Cakes made in the shape of Obama should be both chocolate and vanilla, but filled with frosting and buttery goodness

- Nate Silver should have Thug Life tatted on his chest and can flick lit cigarettes into the envious, doubting eyes of incompetent pundits for at least a week

- You can win elections without seriously engaging climate change or immigration reform

- Billionaire Sheldon Adelson’s money doesn’t buy you an election, only an awkward, gaffe filled trip to Israel

- Over 70% of Jewish and Muslim voters unite on electing Obama, and nearly 35% of registered voters unite in believing our Christian President is Muslim and/or Jewish (that’s a real statistic, btw)

- Last night, Americans finally heard the death rattle of Whiteness – an ideology of supremacy based on politics and rhetoric of exclusion

- In the impending sharia controlled Islamic America, I really want to be the Caliph of Caliphornia, or, at the very least, Fremontistan.

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Written by Wajahat Ali

November 7, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. I am looking into the possibility of changing my skin color so I can blend in better…

    Keith Johnston

    November 7, 2012 at 11:01 pm

  2. YAY!


    November 7, 2012 at 11:12 pm

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