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Things I learned About ‘Merica By Watching The Super Bowl

with 34 comments


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- In ‘Merica, “North America” means “World Champions”

- New Jersey is where Broncos go to die.

- A hijabi is drinking a Coke somewhere in America, most likely with biryani or kebobs. #AmericaIsBeautiful

- God bless Amreeka, where all ethnicities succumb to the sugary, carbonated, fatty goodness of the marketing Unicron known as Coca-Cola and Pepsi.

- That #AmericaIsBeautiful @CocaCola commercial is probably the worst nightmare for some pockets of America.

- Silly online backlash to Coca-Cola’s America the Beautiful ad also reveals some of the nation’s lingering ugliness.

- English is the only language that’s American, tu comprendes, Coke?! Naam? Acha, theek? Bueno. America the Beautiful.

- Foreign Languages. Hijab. Black President. Immigrants. Geography. Now officially adding Coke to this august list of things “un-American”

- Bruno Mars can sing, dance, jump and play drums for 15 minutes without moving a single strand of his luscious, finely combed hair. Meanwhile, all Desi men above the age of 30 send evil eye to Bruno Mars. 

- A Flea + A Legion of “Thugs” + a man named Bruno can make a Crappy Bowl intermittently Super.

- The dude who brings out the Lombardi Trophy must look like an extra from The Sopranos or The Godfather. He just left the gun, but brought the canoli…and the trophy. 

- Roger Goodell should never be allowed to say “shout out” ever again.

- Horse + Dog + Passenger song is enough for a teetotaling Muslim to temporarily root for Budweiser. 

- Electro in AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 look like Mr. Freeze from BATMAN AND ROBIN: proof that humanity is doomed and never learns from its tragic mistakes.

- Scientology commercial during Super Bowl = Xenu is pleased.

- It takes Matrix + Opera + Laurence Fishburne + Agents eating a fancy dinner to finally make KIA’s cool.

- Apparently, if you give China, North Korea, Iran AXE deodorant, then they’ll embrace peace. Question the rest of the world is asking: “What deodorant will it take for America to change?”

- Super Bowl Commercials reveal all about ‘Merica’s obsessions: “Cars. Beer. Chips. Hollywood Movies. Armed Forces. Trucks. Animals selling beer. Blondes. Celebs selling soda, movies, cars, beer. Animals + Celebs selling beer.”

- The NFL is part of the American trinity that includes the Armed Forces and God. The Declaration of Independence makes an appearance once in a while. However, the Founding Fathers would probably be appalled black men are allowed to play a sport alongside white men. Just saying.

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Written by Wajahat Ali

February 3, 2014 at 6:39 pm

34 Responses

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  1. i like your post semi-comical. you sure you don’t mean to spell it emeriKKKa? but at least you are allowed to make fun of our founding fathers, our religions, our past times and what ever else you want.

    things i’ve learned from reading the koran and hadiths:

    - the ummah is a global tribal structure with its adherents’ loyalties lying with each other and not the nations they have migrated to.

    - fornicators are to be lashed 100 times. drinking 80 lashes. slander 80 lashes. adultery death by stoning. apostaty (that means not wanting to be a muslim anymore) also death. homosexual acts, death.

    - some guy named muhammd thnks he talked to an angel for 23 years. lmao

    - there are being make of smokeless fire who sometimes whisper in your ear at night (i think they call that waswas)

    - one night this muhammad character went down to this mythical place with fire and torment an noticed most of its inhabitants were women. then he went to heaven and was told by another mythical being to pray 50 times a day. but he ran into moses on his way out and moses told him to go back and negotiate with this omnipotent beign. 25, 15, 10 then 5. so we know this muhammad cat was a good negotiator.

    - there are levels to this paradise place (jannah?) and the highest level is reserved for the holy warrior (muhjideen?) and then one night two guys came to him in a dream and he climbed a tree and saw the most beuatiful house. best house, highest level, reserved for the marytrs.

    - this dude muhammad says the “evil eye” is real. so watchout for withces and socerers, best to behead them. ;)

    - there are two tribes, gog and magog that are somewhere? maybe on a comet with xenu? not sure, just saying.

    oh yeah and btw, the koran is only holy in arabic. the irony has me roflmao. i think there was once some crazy guy who said something about removing the log from your own eye, before worrying about the speck in your brother’s….

    mmalzahn

    February 5, 2014 at 12:34 am

    • mmalzahn: Your statements are comical but in a very unfunny, ignorant sort of way.

      You: “the ummah is a global tribal structure with its adherents’ loyalties lying with each other and not the nations they have migrated to.”

      - In Islam the concept of loyalty is clear and simple. The Qur’an states “obey those who are in authority over you…” While the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advocated that: “Obedience to the law of the land is a part of faith.” These principles make it clear that Muslims are duty bound to be loyal to the country in which they live. It did not come with any precondition of the country being an Muslim or Islamic country, it is a principle that applies to any country no matter what form of government it has.

      You: “fornicators are to be lashed 100 times. drinking 80 lashes. slander 80 lashes. adultery death by stoning. apostaty (that means not wanting to be a muslim anymore) also death. homosexual acts, death.”

      - Corporal punishment was the norm since ancient times for most international cultures. Its degrees varied on individual societies. Thanks for defining the word “apostasy” as a service to all of us illiterates – after misspelling the word yourself.

      You: some guy named muhammd thnks he talked to an angel for 23 years. lmao

      - Do you mean similar to the approximately 300 times that angels are mentioned in the Bible? The angels who are named and spoke to individuals as recorded for centuries in Texts? Like that?

      You: “there are being make of smokeless fire who sometimes whisper in your ear at night (i think they call that waswas)”

      - If it’s not too challenging for you I suggest you read up on Jinn (or Djinn) and Plasma Theory.

      From: Dr. Ibrahim B. Syed, Clinical Professor of Medicine “The Jinn – A Scientific Analysis”:

      “No religion in the world except Islam has the concept of Jinn. On Earth all life is made of Carbon and water. Living things on Earth need energy for their activities. Some of these activities are chemical reactions, which need a supply of energy. This supply of energy comes from the foods we eat, particularly the sugars. Fat is also a source of (stored) energy. When sugars (glucose) are oxidized with oxygen they are converted into water, carbon dioxide and energy. This is a process called respiration. Similarly creatures elsewhere in the universe such as the sun or stars need energy. For those in the sun, the sun itself supplies the energy.”

      The sun – “Inside the Photosphere lies the Plasma Interior. At this temperature the atoms lose their electrons which wander freely. The density of the hot gases is equal to that of air at the surface of Earth. Halfway towards the center of the sun the temperature rises to several million degrees centigrade. Here the electrons are completely removed from their atoms and move freely, leaving the atomic nuclei behind as positively charged Ions.

      These separated positive and negative (ions) move independently of each other and this state of matter is called Plasma. Plasma could be interpreted as the smokeless Fire described in the Qur’an.”

      There is a tremendous amount of information about this but it may be a bit over your vacuous head probably.

      You: “one night this muhammad character went down to this mythical place with fire and torment an noticed most of its inhabitants were women. then he went to heaven and was told by another mythical being to pray 50 times a day. but he ran into moses on his way out and moses told him to go back and negotiate with this omnipotent beign. 25, 15, 10 then 5. so we know this muhammad cat was a good negotiator.”

      - The purpose of reducing 50 prayers to 5 prayers was to show reasonableness and mercy.

      Re: women and Hadith – according to Bukhari, Abu Hurairah, narrated: ‘Your bad omen is in your woman, your animal, and your house.’ However, Bukhari also, in the same chapter, narrated that Aisha, the Prophet’s wife, refused Abu Hurairah’s narration and said that the Prophet (pbuh) had said, instead: ‘People during the Days of Ignorance (jahiliyya) used to say that bad omens are in women, animals, and houses.’

      Re: Science of Hadith, Aisha rejected Abu Hurairah’s narration on the basis of its content (Al-Matn) rather than its chain of narrators (Al-Sanad). Abu Hurairah is a great companion, but he simply made a mistake in this narration. Apparently, he did not hear the complete statement, and he thought he did. This in one scholarly opinion.

      You: “there are levels to this paradise place (jannah?) and the highest level is reserved for the holy warrior (muhjideen?) and then one night two guys came to him in a dream and he climbed a tree and saw the most beuatiful house. best house, highest level, reserved for the marytrs.

      - “Mujahideen” is a term to describe Muslims who struggle in the path of God. Not necessarily physical combatants. It’s root word struggle also encompasses behavior. It also includes those who struggle against oppression.

      You: “this dude muhammad says the “evil eye” is real. so watchout for withces and socerers, best to behead them.”

      - Superstitions aside, the concept of the evil eye is to avoid coveting and jealousy and to praise God whenever someone or something noteworthy is mentioned.

      You: “there are two tribes, gog and magog that are somewhere? maybe on a comet with xenu? not sure, just saying”

      - Gog and Magog are mentioned in the Bible as well as in the Qur’an. Yajuj Majuj (Gog and Magog) and Zul-Qarnain refer specifically to the following: The barbarous tribes of Yajuj and Majuj were imprisoned behind an iron wall built by Zul-Qarnain. They caused destruction and blood-shed over a vast area, and because of their oppression, many barriers and walls were erected in different times and places by different kings. A number of historical events are traced back to this. But you would have to know some history to understand it.

      Mmalzahn your writing and ignorance has me lmao and roflmao. Thanks for your poorly executed laugh of the day. The irony is you actually think you made some points. LOL! Xenu is a Scientology term and has nothing to do with Islam. GMAB!

      BTW Muhammad (pbuh) is not a “character” – as you put it. You would need to gain an education before you realize his importance in history and that would be way too long a time to wait.

      Sarah

      February 25, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      • - In Islam the concept of loyalty is clear and simple. The Qur’an states “obey those who are in authority over you…” While the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advocated that: “Obedience to the law of the land is a part of faith.” These principles make it clear that Muslims are duty bound to be loyal to the country in which they live. It did not come with any precondition of the country being an Muslim or Islamic country, it is a principle that applies to any country no matter what form of government it has. (me: you say “clear and simple”? well you are going to have to explain to me why there are muslims around the world trying to establish islamic states? Why american muslims are against saying the pledge of allegiance? Why hassan shot up fort hood? Why a muslim marine attacked their fellow american marines?)
        You: “fornicators are to be lashed 100 times. drinking 80 lashes. slander 80 lashes. adultery death by stoning. apostaty (that means not wanting to be a muslim anymore) also death. homosexual acts, death.”
        - Corporal punishment was the norm since ancient times for most international cultures. Its degrees varied on individual societies. Thanks for defining the word “apostasy” as a service to all of us illiterates – after misspelling the word yourself. (Yes, I’m aware of Draco and lashing escaped slaves or even sailors and soldiers. I’ve seen mutiny on the bounty. “was the norm” is the operative phrase. Most non-muslims don’t want to return to ancient times. Were as there are many muslims who do. I’m sure you have heard of salafists, that maybe misspelled. Hey uganda just passed a tougher anti-homosexual law yesterday, maybe you can deflect to them next time?)
        You: some guy named muhammd thnks he talked to an angel for 23 years. lmao
        - Do you mean similar to the approximately 300 times that angels are mentioned in the Bible? The angels who are named and spoke to individuals as recorded for centuries in Texts? Like that? (Yes I mean like that. The bible is a joke. There are no angels. Or maybe you have a paper on them being made from dark energy? But wait, angels are made of light. Hey I got it, the light that can’t escape a dark hole are what angels are made of?)
        You: “there are being make of smokeless fire who sometimes whisper in your ear at night (i think they call that waswas)”
        - If it’s not too challenging for you I suggest you read up on Jinn (or Djinn) and Plasma Theory.
        From: Dr. Ibrahim B. Syed, Clinical Professor of Medicine “The Jinn – A Scientific Analysis”:
        “No religion in the world except Islam has the concept of Jinn. On Earth all life is made of Carbon and water. Living things on Earth need energy for their activities. Some of these activities are chemical reactions, which need a supply of energy. This supply of energy comes from the foods we eat, particularly the sugars. Fat is also a source of (stored) energy. When sugars (glucose) are oxidized with oxygen they are converted into water, carbon dioxide and energy. This is a process called respiration. Similarly creatures elsewhere in the universe such as the sun or stars need energy. For those in the sun, the sun itself supplies the energy.”
        The sun – “Inside the Photosphere lies the Plasma Interior. At this temperature the atoms lose their electrons which wander freely. The density of the hot gases is equal to that of air at the surface of Earth. Halfway towards the center of the sun the temperature rises to several million degrees centigrade. Here the electrons are completely removed from their atoms and move freely, leaving the atomic nuclei behind as positively charged Ions.
        These separated positive and negative (ions) move independently of each other and this state of matter is called Plasma. Plasma could be interpreted as the smokeless Fire described in the Qur’an.” (so jinn are in the sun? or is you boy is saying that the electrons are attracted to the earth because of it’s equal density and re-bond to positively charged ions in the earth’s atmosphere and become jinn? Why does he start with metabolizing sugars and fats?)
        There is a tremendous amount of information about this but it may be a bit over your vacuous head probably. (You are right, you lost me. The vacuous head doesn’t get how plasma has sex with women or possesses people? Or built Solomon’s temple or stole the queen of Sheba’s throne?)
        You: “one night this muhammad character went down to this mythical place with fire and torment an noticed most of its inhabitants were women. then he went to heaven and was told by another mythical being to pray 50 times a day. but he ran into moses on his way out and moses told him to go back and negotiate with this omnipotent beign. 25, 15, 10 then 5. so we know this muhammad cat was a good negotiator.”
        - The purpose of reducing 50 prayers to 5 prayers was to show reasonableness and mercy. (Well that was mighty nice of him. Why not just start with 5? Sounded to me like he’s running a pawn shop. And not very well at that.)
        Re: women and Hadith – according to Bukhari, Abu Hurairah, narrated: ‘Your bad omen is in your woman, your animal, and your house.’ However, Bukhari also, in the same chapter, narrated that Aisha, the Prophet’s wife, refused Abu Hurairah’s narration and said that the Prophet (pbuh) had said, instead: ‘People during the Days of Ignorance (jahiliyya) used to say that bad omens are in women, animals, and houses.’
        Re: Science of Hadith, Aisha rejected Abu Hurairah’s narration on the basis of its content (Al-Matn) rather than its chain of narrators (Al-Sanad). Abu Hurairah is a great companion, but he simply made a mistake in this narration. Apparently, he did not hear the complete statement, and he thought he did. This in one scholarly opinion. (“Abu Hurairah is a great companion” you might not want to say that around a shia. Not sure what you are replying to, but yeah considering the pagan arabs would bury baby girls alive, they may have thought them bad omens.)
        You: “there are levels to this paradise place (jannah?) and the highest level is reserved for the holy warrior (muhjideen?) and then one night two guys came to him in a dream and he climbed a tree and saw the most beuatiful house. best house, highest level, reserved for the marytrs.
        - “Mujahideen” is a term to describe Muslims who struggle in the path of God. Not necessarily physical combatants. It’s root word struggle also encompasses behavior. It also includes those who struggle against oppression. (Ok, #my jihad is to spell better, lol. Yeah but here it is struggle of the sword. Not the inner struggle to be a good person.)
        You: “this dude muhammad says the “evil eye” is real. so watchout for withces and socerers, best to behead them.”
        - Superstitions aside, the concept of the evil eye is to avoid coveting and jealousy and to praise God whenever someone or something noteworthy is mentioned. (So why do they behead people for supposedly using magic and casting spells?)
        You: “there are two tribes, gog and magog that are somewhere? maybe on a comet with xenu? not sure, just saying”
        - Gog and Magog are mentioned in the Bible as well as in the Qur’an. Yajuj Majuj (Gog and Magog) and Zul-Qarnain refer specifically to the following: The barbarous tribes of Yajuj and Majuj were imprisoned behind an iron wall built by Zul-Qarnain. They caused destruction and blood-shed over a vast area, and because of their oppression, many barriers and walls were erected in different times and places by different kings. A number of historical events are traced back to this. But you would have to know some history to understand it. (I now a little history. Please explain. Fill in the gaps for me. The two horned king built the iron and I heard copper, not sure why you would but copper over it? Anyway, they are in the east? Everyday they dig at the wall and are almost through it everyday, and the boss says, we’ll come back tomorrow to finish. But when they return the next day it is rebuilt. But at the end of days allah will allow them to finish and they will pour out, devouring everything. Do we need to go on to Palestine where they drink up the lake? Or are you telling me you don’t take that silliness literally and you are more of the school that they were the monguls and other actual people?)
        Mmalzahn your writing and ignorance has me lmao and roflmao. Thanks for your poorly executed laugh of the day. The irony is you actually think you made some points. LOL! Xenu is a Scientology term and has nothing to do with Islam. GMAB! (Glad to hear (I first put in here, lol) I could make you laugh. Thanks I know xenu is from scientology. My point which clearly was poorly made, because you seem to be intelligent, was that for one religious person to make fun of another religious persons beliefs, is funny. I imagine the writer finds the belief in xenu as funny as I find the belief in gog and magog and angels and prophets and jinn and god. (sorry for the run-on sentence, I got a C in creative writing in college, ) I also that it ironic that if you make fun of muhammad you may very well be killed for it, I take you are aware of salam rushdie, theo van gogh and too many riots to list.)
        BTW Muhammad (pbuh) is not a “character” – as you put it. You would need to gain an education before you realize his importance in history and that would be way too long a time to wait. (I guess you are reading the word fictitious in there, when it is not. Yes I know he was a historical figure, just like jesus. They are still both characters to me.
        You have a good night Sarah. Don’t forget to say your magic words to keep the jinn away before you go to bed. Sorry I couldn’t resist.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD-E-LDc384&feature=kp

        mmalzahn

        February 25, 2014 at 11:18 pm

      • mmalzahn: Your response is quite a mess and not easy to go through. I will address one major point re: establishing Islamic states.

        Did you ever consider the situation of Muslims subject to the worst conditions within their own countries due to decades of American interference? Are you aware that the US supported various Islamist movements for its own benefit?

        Saudi Arabia:

        The House of Saud is one of the most repressive and reactionary regimes in the world. Executions are common. Along with the US, it was one of the primary funders of Al-Qaeda. From the outset of the Soviet-Afghan war in the early 1980s, the US intelligence apparatus has supported the formation of the “Islamic brigades”. Propaganda purports to erase the history of Al-Qaeda, drown the truth and “kill the evidence” on how this “outside enemy” was fabricated and transformed into “Enemy Number One”.

        Bahrain:

        A major ally of the US, its monarchy has been brutally oppressing pro-democracy movements since 2011 including shooting into open crowds. The US and Britain are staunch supporters and major weapons suppliers.

        Tunisia:

        For over 24 years, Tunisia was ruled by Pres Ben Ali. Many foreign corporations benefited from the IMF’s neoliberal policies of “shock therapy”. This was very useful to the US. The Tunisian government, in order to meet the guidelines for the IMF’s loans, cut off essential food subsidies. This resulted in soaring food prices and sparked widespread uprisings.

        The new government, which is said to be a coalition of Islamists and “secularists,” has replaced the Ben Ali regime. Regardless of rhetoric re: the democratic nature of the revolution, the World Bank still continues to approve loans and carry out the agenda of the US alongside the newly-established government. There has also been widespread criticism of the new coalition’s moves towards Salafist Islamism.

        Egypt:

        Hosni Mubarak was one of the most oppressive US-backed regimes. For several decades, Egypt had been a receiver of US military aid, second only to Israel. Recently the Muslim Brotherhood emerged as a dominant political force. Although a more severe religious approach in society was introduced, the US ignored it as their real aim was to prevent Egypt from becoming a nation that determines their own destiny and to prevent them from recovering economically. The only way they can do this is by installing puppet regimes in place and fostering instability.

        Through the Muslim Brotherhood and Morsi, Islamism, US interests and conciliatory policies towards Zionism were protected in Egypt. In 2013, the pro-American Egyptian military launched a coup d’etat against the Brotherhood and Morsi, establishing an equally reactionary military dictatorship in Egypt. This coup was soon followed by the massacre of protestors, suspension of the constitution and the imposition of martial law. The hegemony of the US has been maintained in the Egypt, alongside Israel and the Gulf states.

        Libya:

        In 1969, Gaddafi overthrew King Idriss. Natural resources such as oil were then nationalized under Gaddafi’s leadership and taken out of the hands of Western corporations. NATO (with US as member), in response, started giving social and financial support to various groups, who had their origins in Islamism, Arab nationalism and tribal divisions of Libya. These groups included Al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb, and the Libyan Islamic Fighting Group, who were both enemies of Gaddafi. NATO used the Libyan League for Human rights (LLHR) and the U.N. to promote the necessary war mongering propaganda to justify this “intervention” in Libya.

        NATO then established a no-fly-zone over Libya. After Gaddafi was killed and his forces were defeated, NATO established headquarters in Benghazi to speak on behalf of these Islamist terrorist organizations. They called this the “National Transitional Council”.

        Afghanistan:

        The rise of the reactionary Taliban and Islamism in Afghanistan has origins going back to when the Carter Administration, with the help of the CIA, decided to aid broad groups of Islamists called the Mujahideen in1979. At that time Osama Bin Laden was recruited by the CIA in a training camp. The group Maktab al-Khidamar was the group formed and run by Bin Laden.

        After the Soviets left, a civil war between the Mujahideen factions broke out. The Taliban was the result of all the chaos in 1994. The US-sponsored funding for the teaching of militant Islam in schools for Afghan children, as well as the support to the Taliban by the Pakistani ISI would backfire on the US. The US has many economic interests in the Central Asian region, so this soon created a pretext for the 2001 intervention. The excuses provided for this were that the Taliban was “harboring Al-Qaeda” and “violating human rights” in Afghanistan.

        It has been estimated that over 18,000 civilians (Muslims) have died as a result of this American occupation in Afghanistan since 2001. Many are children.

        Iran:

        On the 60th anniversary of the 1953 military coup in Iran that overthrew the government of nationalist Mohammad Mossadegh, the US has declassified documents detailing how the CIA’s secret operation brought the country’s Shah back to power. The Shah’s pro-western dictatorship continued for 27 years and ended with the Islamic Revolution of 1979, which paved the way for today’s Iran, where anti-American sentiments remain strong. The Shah had a very brutal regime with his secret police SAVAK and their preference for torture. The US removed a democratic leader Dr. Mossadegh and replaced him with the dictator Shah who served US interests.

        Iraq:

        The US funded Saddam Hussein for years with billions of dollars and weapons including chemical weapons. Saddam killed 200,000 Kurds with chemical weapons while the US sat silently. The invasion of Kuwait instigated by Iraq ended up slowing the “flow of oil” in the Persian Gulf, which is the most likely reason why the US decided to take action. This savage invasion of the Gulf was not the only war Washington pursued against the Iraqi people. A series of strict economic sanctions were placed on Iraq afterwards, which killed 3.3 million Iraqis, including 750,000 children. These sanctions, which amounted to genocide, continued through the Clinton presidency and into the 21st century.

        The United States was not done with Iraq. In 2003, the US pursued yet another act of aggression against the Iraqi people. Much like the Gulf War, the “War in Iraq” was based on lies and fabrications. We all know what happened to GW Bush’s “war”.

        The above are extremely short descriptions of very complex situations.

        There are many other examples but I can’t comment on all of them. The short of it is when the US interferes with Muslim countries for decades, suppress democratic reforms, install dictators, exploits countries’ natural resources such as oil, develop Islamic fighters for the interim without considering the long term consequences – there will be problems.

        When countries are devoid of democratic expression due to oppression, they usually default back to religious political expression – as all other expression was banned under the dictatorships they have to endure.

        I hope I answered your: “why there are muslims around the world trying to establish Islamic states”.

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 2:10 am

      • mmalzahn: Further to your question re: why Muslims want to establish Islamic states – note the following:

        From 1984-1994 the CIA funded militant textbooks for Afghanistan.

        The US, through USAID and the University of Nebraska, spent millions of dollars developing and printing textbooks for Afghani schoolchildren. The textbooks were filled with violent images and militant Islamic teachings, part of covert attempts to spur resistance to the Soviet occupation.

        Children were taught to count with illustrations showing tanks, missiles and land mines. Lacking any alternative, millions of these textbooks are used long after 1994. The Taliban continued using them. After 2002, the US produced less violent versions of the same books, which GW Bush said would have “respect for human dignity, instead of indoctrinating students with fanaticism and bigotry.”

        Hypocritical to the end.

        In 1997 Unocal (GW Bush’s biggest donator) paid University of Nebraska $900,000 to set up a training facility near Osama bin Laden’s Kandahar compound, to train 400 Afghan teachers, electricians, carpenters and pipe fitters in anticipation of using them for their pipeline in Afghanistan. This pipeline was to move vast resources of natural gas through Afghanistan and would have made Unocal billions of dollars.

        The Taliban came to Texas as guests of then Governor GW Bush and Unocal but the pipeline deal later fell apart. In 2001, 9/11 was used as an excuse to seize Afghanistan without any care about the death and destruction it brought upon Afghani Muslims.

        This occurred as they invaded the “wrong” country – Iraq – without any care about the death and destruction it brought upon Iraqi civilians (mostly Muslim). No Weapons of Mass Destruction were found – as the U.N. inspectors stated.

        Hypocritical to the end (again).

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 2:38 am

      • mmalzahn: In future please don’t insult our Prophet and I won’t add to my list of American atrocities against Muslims.

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 2:53 am

  2. Spot on! You described many of the items which were making me uneasy about this event. Thanks for posting.

    Cecilia Quintero

    February 5, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    • what exactly made yo uneasy? football, beer, blones, and xenu?????????????

      mmalzahn

      February 22, 2014 at 2:01 am

  3. http://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=50&translator=4
    Yahya related to me from Malik that Humayd ibn Qays al-Makki said, “A man came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, with the two sons of Jafar ibn Abi Talib. He said to their nursemaid, ‘Why do I see them so thin?’ Their nursemaid said, ‘Messenger of Allah, the evil eye goes quickly to them. Nothing stops us from asking someone to make incantations (using ayats of Qur’an) for them, except that we do not know what of that would agree with you.’ The Messenger of ,Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Make incantations for them. Had anything been able to precede the decree, the evil eye would precede it.’ ”

    sarah, i forgot to ask you what ayat that was?

    mmalzahn

    February 25, 2014 at 11:31 pm

  4. Sarah, you’re right. That did not turn out well. I tried to copy and paste to the comment box, then I went to a word doc and it did look so congested…blah blah blah. Anyway, I guess the smokeless fire beings who may or may not take the forms of snakes and dogs and scorpions will be for another time. It’s all good, second to discussing religion I love politics. Without copying and pasting let me try to follow you and make a little sense. Although first I have to say when I was talking about creating an Islamic state I was talking about the Muslims in the southern Philippines, JI in Indonesia, boko haram in northern Nigeria. And some much smaller movements in the was. Sharia4uk, Holland and belgiun. The sharia councils that already exist in England. Google muslim patrol video. The Islamic thinkers society of America. They’re funny. And videos like this for lack of loyalty.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_kyNIevsIs

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 3:13 am

  5. Let’s see if I can make this less cluttered. You got most everything in there except Palistine.

    Saudi Arabia: yes the saudis are terrible repressive. But your logic is lost on me. If muslims around the world see the repression of one of the strictest declared islamic state, then to me muslims would want separation of church and state, or mosque and state. Executions, yeah they cut the head off sorcerers. Did we send them books on the Salem witch trials? Al-Qaeda (the cell) did not exist in the early 80s. Yes we and the Saudis and the Pakistanis supported the Afghans against the soviets. You would have preferred we didn’t?
    Bahrain: now that’s not one you hear much off. Shia royalty in a mostly sunni state? Yeah they have thrown some people in jail. Not sure if we are doing anythng behind the scenes or not. But I still don’t understand what pro-democracy have to do with pro-islam, or pro-sharia?
    Tunisia: yes I know who ben ali was and that a vegetable vender light himself on fire. I’m all for eliminating the IMF and the world bank. And the UN for that matter. Moves towards salafism? Didn’t the endana (how ever you spell that) part step down after two secularist were killed. Food prices were back up, as they were in 2006 -07, because of the world’s recovery from the credit crunch. Either way what do food prices have to do with religion?
    Egypt: I remember when they shot Sadat. That must have been the CIA? Camp accords were all a master plan to get the muslim brotherhood in charge? Yes we pay Egypt to try to play nice with the Jews, and Israel gave them the Sinai back. Funny, because as I recall all the American Muslim pundits were saying that the brotherhood only had 10% support and the conservatives saying they would take over were crazy. Personally I though the secularists would win the first round while the salafist were divided. The non brother guys created their own party, didn’t they. Named for my favorite surah, the 24, Al-Noor. Your timeline seemed to leave out the massive anti morsi demonstrations after many felt he was making a huge power grab with the constitution and the courts. If we wanted to keep the homogeny then why let mubarak step down? Or ben ali for that matter?
    this is fun, but i got to run and get some beer before the damn christian close the store on me at midnight.

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 4:04 am

  6. Libya: Al-Qaeda did not exist until the late 80s and AQIM the late 90s. You jump form 69 to 2010 pretty quick. But yes these are complex situations. And Gaddafi backed the Tuager in Mali who were fighting with the AQIM against the government then turned on them. Go figure. The headquarters in Benghazi did work out too well. So NATO was wrong to provide air support?
    Afghanistan: Thanks, lol. Yeah, I did my senior thesis on the soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1987. yeah I know who the pashtuns are and the northern alliance. Turkmen and Tajiks and Uzbeks. CIA funneled weapons through the ISI to the Mujahedeen. That was a bad thing? I remember the film of the guy getting off a camel and firing a shoulder mounted stinger and bringing down a MIG.
    “The US has many economic interests in the Central Asian region, so this soon created a pretext for the 2001 intervention.” What is it that we are stealing from Afghanistan? They do have natural gas. But let me see if I follow. We created Al-Qaeda but they didn’t do 9/11 and weren’t harbored by Afghanistan?
    Iran: I remember the Iran hostage crisis. I now who the Shah was. I aware of the 53 coup. Kind of funny because the British controlled much of the oil fields. But again, you want to kick a dictator out, ok. So why replace him with a “supreme leader”? no mention of the green revolution?
    Iraq: Everyone stood by when the Kurds were gassed. So when Saddam invaded Kuwait, we should have done nothing. I think that would have been in our own best interests. So you wanted the US to interfere with the Kurdish gassing, or not? I’m confused. I also always find it confusing when people say our sanctions are terrorist. That they were killing 4,000 children a month, but then they were against the 2003 invasion?

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 4:43 am

  7. yes, we supported the afghans against the soviets. the soviets leave. and the afghans turn on each other. so to you that’s america’s fault. that would be like if the after the american revolution, washington declared himself empeor and green did the same and america fell into a civil war, and i blamed the french.

    but we agree on one thing. people often gravitate to their tribe and their religion. that’s why they are both bad. and if you call an insult to a person who has been dead for hundreds of years an atrocity then despite your knowledge of history you are a religious fanatic at your core. your prophets were all idiots and some genocidal maniacs. read moses and the midianites.

    oh yeah. and nobody claims american foriegn policy to be divine writ. you forgot to blame syria on us. or at least the french. lol.

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 5:00 am

    • mmalzahn: I don’t have time now to address all your points although there are glaring errors in a number of them. Re: “if you call an insult to a person who has been dead for hundreds of years an atrocity then despite your knowledge of history you are a religious fanatic at your core.” If a person is dead, it is not okay to use that as a reason to insult. I would say this for a Prophet. I would say this for any deceased relative or friend. If you equate this to me being a “religious fanatic” – then that is a result of your limited thinking and not because I am one. Actually I find it amusing and laughable.

      You seem unable to digest the effects of US interference on Muslim nations for decades and how that interference hampered the natural political development of those nations. When political activities are banned, religion supplants it as it was the only expression available. The extension of this would take too long to explain on this blog.

      Re: Al-Qaeda harbored by Afghanistan – it is against international law to attack and carpet bomb a country if individuals within that country are protecting enemies. Yet the US did exactly that.

      Re: “Yeah, I did my senior thesis on the soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1987. yeah I know who the pashtuns are and the northern alliance” – if that is the case, no evidence of a senior thesis is reflected in your writings or scope of knowledge. e.g. “everyone stood by while the Kurds were gassed” – Yes but who was funding and supporting the gassing? Hint: Answer includes letters U and S. Highly limited in scope and logic.

      Sarah

      February 26, 2014 at 4:02 pm

      • I did not state that: “insult to a person who has been dead for hundreds of years an atrocity” – what I wrote was that you not insult our Prophet and I won’t (in return) continue to add to the list of American atrocities (committed) against Muslims i.e. brutal interference in countries. – Not that the insult is an atrocity.

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      • sarah, the soviet invasion of afghanistan and the gassing of the kurds aren’t related. perphaps in the larger regional geopolitical happenings, as in 79 the iranian revolution took place. the soviets invaded afghanistan in 80 and saddam invade iran in 80. so the kurds seeing the turmoil, think it’s a good time to try to create a kurdistan in northwestern iran, northern iraq and southwest turkey. yes america was supporting saddam against the iranians. so you are saying we told him to gas the kurds? the arabization of mosul. to drain the swamps to get the marsh arabs under control? i think you are putting a little too much on american influence. you know you shold check out loonwatch.com. they will love you over there.

        international law. don’t make me laugh. we told the afghans to turn them over or we are coming to get them. even at the expense of the pipeline. but they chose to side with allah. what did mullah omar say, ‘don’t worry about they america missles. they will fall harmlessly in the dessert’. i quess he was expecting angelic intervention like in the battle of badr. btw, tha soviets carpet bombed afghanistan, we did not. we precisioned bombed them. the technology has changed.

        so if the political climate suppresses people they turn to religion. truely scary. especially when the religion is islam which promotes marytrdom. why did we not see massive unrest and suicide bombings from the russian orthodox at the fall of the ussr? and why is it every ashura sunnis blow up shias? why, agian is boko haram killing people in nigeria? why were iranian border guards taken hostage in pakistan? the iranian embassy attacked yesterday in pakistan? why shot a girl in the head because so wants to go to school? why lash a 14 year-old to death or riot (because they want to give women equal inheriting rights) in bangladesh? i konw it’s sharia. as is establishing an “islamic state”.

        mmalzahn

        February 26, 2014 at 5:23 pm

      • Re: “international law. don’t make me laugh. we told the afghans to turn them over or we are coming to get them. even at the expense of the pipeline. but they chose to side with allah.”

        I am the one who is laughing at how little you know.

        On October 14, 2001, the Taliban offered to hand over Osama bin Laden to a neutral country if the US halted bombing if the Taliban were given evidence of Bin Laden’s involvement in 9/11.

        Per The Guardian:

        Returning to the White House after a weekend at Camp David, the president said the bombing would not stop, unless the ruling Taliban “turn (Bin Laden) over, turn his cohorts over, turn any hostages they hold over.” He added, “There’s no need to discuss innocence or guilt. We know he’s guilty” …

        Afghanistan’s deputy prime minister, Haji Abdul Kabir, told reporters that the Taliban would require evidence that Bin Laden was behind the September 11 terrorist attacks in the US.

        “If the Taliban is given evidence that Osama bin Laden is involved” and the bombing campaign stopped, “we would be ready to hand him over to a third country”, Mr. Kabir added.

        However, as the Guardian subsequently points out:

        A senior Taliban minister has offered a last-minute deal to hand over Osama bin Laden during a secret visit to Islamabad, senior sources in Pakistan told the Guardian last night.

        For the first time, the Taliban offered to hand over Bin Laden for trial in a country other than the US without asking to see evidence first in return for a halt to the bombing, a source close to Pakistan’s military leadership said.

        The US rejected this and did not stop the bombing. Get your facts straight.

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    • Bin Laden would have been handed over in 2001. The US rejected this. No war. How many Americans and Afghanis died because of this? You point to specific cases of local injustices against individuals however completely miss the larger picture. Do you really think your approach is the first time I’ve come across this type of diatribe? Are you somehow enlightening me? This is the height of insanity. I am not dealing with your ignorant responses anymore. Time out. Back to the sandbox you go.

      Continue with your diatribe if you wish. Continue with the puerile approach. Garbled, myopic, ill informed views are not particularly interesting, especially when you inject too much emotion into your responses rather than facts (not an educated approach concerning serious matters). The usual “hey want about this, what about that, what about the time when someone did this . . .routine” – dull and chaotic.

      Sarah

      February 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm

      • lol. i’m emotional? you say i say “hey what about this, what about that.” i started with yajuj and majuj (whom you still have explained where they are? if they are humans or what? were they the monguls and the tatar or what? are they going to drink up the lake in palistine at end times? still don’t know how the plasma jinn get from the sun to earth and how they take the form of dogs or snakes or scorpions? if they built soloman’s temple? stole sheba’s throne or what?

        then you go to middle east politics of the last 60 years, of course it’s chaotic. no i’m sure you are well versed in this debate. you try to steer it were you like and towards american foreign policy, which is clearly flawed. but you give american influence way too much credit, while down playing the role of a violent ideology which is islam. you know you can’t answer why sunni and shia’s blow each other up by blaming american foriegn policy? you can’t explain why boko haram exists, with american foreign policy. sandbox, that’s funny, little sarah is going to take her ball and go home.

        my diatribe, i thought we were having fun. you call me uneducated, ignorant, juvinille. ok, no problem baby-pop. garbeled, no doubt. you name a half dozen countries which have nothing to do with the original conversation, which was islamic mythology, and then call me insane. it’s all good in the hood.

        hey i see they sentence the two kenyans in woolwich today. i guess the “celar and simple” message of islam about loyalty to one’s nation was lost on them.

        or let me see. the soviets invade afghanistan. US, SA and pakistan support them. the soviets withdraw. the afghans desinagrate into a civil war…fault america? smh, still.

        mmalzahn

        February 26, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      • You asked why are Muslims trying to establish Islamic states. I explained the history of what lead to this including direct US interference as basis of understanding re: supporting militancy. It was a well thought out, reasonable response. It was directly related. You of course perceived it as chaotic. Your problem not mine. You are right of right wing and that is ignorance at its height.

        Sarah

        February 26, 2014 at 7:03 pm

      • not sure how these reply things work or the order of the comments. but no sarah, i’m not right of right wing. i’m a libertarian. but again, i was refering to boko haram and JI and the southern philipines along with the movements in western countries to impose sharia law.

        mmalzahn

        February 26, 2014 at 7:16 pm

  8. sarah, you are right. you didn’t say “that” as in add “tha” to the list. my apologizes. good to here you don’t consider satanic verses, submission, danish cartoons, innocences of muslims or the burning of the koran to be an atrocity. you are not a fanatic, at least not as fanatical as some.

    so you believe in freedom of speech?

    seperation of religion and governance?

    still don’t know were yajuj and majuj are?

    or if jinn are plasma beings living in the sun or what?

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    • mmalzahn: Perhaps it may be best if you stop conjecturing of what I think are or are not atrocities. You are not in a position to make any such suppositions on my behalf. Don’t assume you know what my understandings are as black and white statements just because I don’t agree with you. It is a ridiculous and juvenile approach.

      I don’t support the response of some Muslims re: Danish cartoons etc and don’t consider it acceptable, however it does not equate to the millions of Muslims who were killed per American foreign policy over the decades or the millions of displaced Muslims in Iraq and elsewhere as the result of ill conceived wars.

      I recognize the loss of American lives, all the sons and daughters who served in unjust wars and were killed or disabled to be tragic as well. They and their families are destroyed, just as Muslim families are destroyed.

      Sarah

      February 26, 2014 at 5:04 pm

  9. my facts aren’t wrong. i was speaking about before we began bombing. once the men and material are on the move we aren’t going to accept any conditions. the afghans are notorious for changing sides. by the time we had started bombing we had probably already given our word to the northern alliance that we weren’t turning back until the tailban were out.

    http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mohammed_omar.html

    i still don’t get why the afghans turned on each other after the soviet withdraw?

    mmalzahn

    February 26, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    • Again, missing the point that it would have stopped a war! Years spent “looking for Bin Laden”. Trillions $ spent. Lives saved. Your facts “are” wrong.

      Sarah

      February 26, 2014 at 6:30 pm

      • no i get the point. we could have stopped and maybe the taliban had bin laden in their control and maybe would have turned him over. but the desicion was already made to remove the taliban. there are reports that saddam made an 11th hour offer to let the weapons inspectors back in too. but once half a million men were in kuwait, it was too late. my facts aren’t wrong, we did not take the offer.

        mmalzahn

        February 26, 2014 at 6:57 pm

  10. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-26366197

    ‘Risking the sword’

    The directive from ISIS, citing the Islamic concept of “dhimma”, requires Christians in the city to pay tax of around half an ounce (14g) of pure gold in exchange for their safety.

    It says Christians must not make renovations to churches, display crosses or other religious symbols outside churches, ring church bells or pray in public.

    Christians must not carry arms, and must follow other rules imposed by ISIS (also known as ISIL) on their daily lives.

    The statement said the group had met Christian representatives and offered them three choices – they could convert to Islam, accept ISIS’ conditions, or reject their control and risk being killed.

    “If they reject, they are subject to being legitimate targets, and nothing will remain between them and ISIS other than the sword,” the statement said.

    mmalzahn

    February 28, 2014 at 7:47 pm

  11. well if jihad is the normal state, the people in tennesse, the non-muslims at least better protect their lives and property.

    http://www.dcclothesline.com/2013/10/30/tennessee-imam-abu-ammaar-yasir-qadhi-jews-christians-filthy-lives-property-can-taken-jihad-muslims/

    mmalzahn

    March 2, 2014 at 5:20 pm

  12. american hemogeny at work again.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-26408708

    mmalzahn

    March 2, 2014 at 8:03 pm

  13. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-26421744

    had my majority and the rulers backwards. now those were facts you could have corrected. ;)

    mmalzahn

    March 3, 2014 at 6:16 pm

  14. the chinese muslims are fighting american hemogeny with knives. and killing chinese for some reason? how strange.

    mmalzahn

    March 6, 2014 at 8:58 pm

  15. mmalzahn

    March 11, 2014 at 12:22 am


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