GOATMILK: An intellectual playground edited by Wajahat Ali

I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim (White Cloud Press, May 2011) is being received very positively in the media and is spurring dialogue that we feel is necessary and timely.  In this vein, we want to continue the conversation with a sequel called I Speak for Myself: American Men on Being Muslim.  The book will be published by White Cloud in 2012.

Each essay must be written by a practicing Muslim American man, born and/or predominantly raised in the U.S. We are looking for contributors between the ages of 22 and 45 who claim Islam as their faith.

Please write articulately about a personal aspect of your life with regards to being a Muslim American man.  The essay should express in some way how your Muslim-ness and American-ness affect your life.  This need not be overt but the essay should come from that perspective.

Essays should be no longer than 1500 words and will be edited for clarity.  All submissions may not be accepted, but every submission will be considered.  Please include name, age, DOB, full contact info, birthplace, ethnicity, sect of Islam, profession/field, and anything else about yourself that might be useful for us to know (short bios are fine).

This is a project that, Inshallah, will appear across a variety of platforms, both national and international.

Please send all queries about this project and/or entries via email to:  isfm786@gmail.com.

FOUR STARS: ****

5/17/11

The Tree of Life is maddening, exhilarating, gorgeous, ponderous, insightful, pretentious, epic, shallow, beautiful, and strange — essentially the apotheosis of Terrence Malick’s entire career. It will divide audiences like few films have in recent years.

The movie, which exists as a metaphysical meditation and a lyrical poem, focuses – at a microcosmic level – on the story of Jack, a jaded, middle aged man (played by Sean Penn) scarred by the memories of an oppressive upbringing by his father (Brad Pitt), as well as the untimely death of his younger brother.

Like all Malick movies, however, the plot is simply window dressing for the grand philosophical questions the director has been chasing for nearly four decades: the struggle between nature and grace, the duality of man, the meaning of life, and a sense of understanding and reconciliation amidst the chaos and suffering of it all.

While the film makes several missteps and is saddled with an inelegant conclusion, the sheer audacity and vision of a director willing to tackle these weighty metaphysical questions in such an unconventional, non-mainstream manner must be applauded.

The Tree of Life opens and closes with a shot of a beautiful, unearthly light that could very well represent the light of “God.” It then proceeds with a Biblical quote from Job, the prophet whose righteousness was tested through suffering. Would Job renounce God if He was to test him with calamity, or would he remain true and steadfast in his conviction?

The calamity in this case is the tragic death of Jack’s younger brother, who died in combat at the age 19 many years ago. Through several voiceovers – the primary dialogue in a movie that communicates mostly through images – we hear characters’ hushed prayers, laments and frustrated questions to an omnipresent (but distant) God.

In response to her son’s death, the mother asks and prays, “Why?”

Malick’s visual answer to her question is undoubtedly one of The Tree of Life’s most audacious and confounding sequences, itself a throwback to that other frustrating, brilliant visionary recluse, Stanley Kubrick, and his masterpiece 2001. The audience embarks on a gorgeous, wordless cinematic tour of the history of creation, from the majestic beauty of the cosmos to the violence of the Big Bang to the first stirrings of life in the primordial soup to dinosaurs walking the Earth to a small asteroid colliding with the planet.

The random death of one young man seems trivial when measured against the balance of time, space, evolution and the origin of life.

Yet, it is also a random act of violence, a fortuitous eruption, that somehow inspired the entirety of creation on Earth.

Malick, a deeply thoughtful director who studied philosophy at Harvard and Oxford, reflects on the interconnectedness and interdependence of all living things, no matter how miniscule or magnificent. The death of a brother lingers profoundly in the life of his emotionally damaged sibling just as the Big Bang reverberates throughout the cosmos, and a relatively small meteorite crash instigates a cataclysmic ripple of death for the dinosaurs.

This belabored, but nonetheless fascinating, rumination on the duality and interconnectedness of life is further engendered in Jack by his mother, played by an ethereal Jessica Chastain, who teaches her children that there are two ways through life: the way of grace or the way of nature. The former, personified by the mother, loves unconditionally and accepts suffering and humiliation, while the latter, personified by Pitt, seeks only to please itself, have others please it, and finds reasons to be unhappy despite being surrounded by blessings.

In his National Geographic segment, Malick visits this theme during the age of the CGI dinosaurs. A large dinosaur, upon witnessing a smaller, wounded animal, triumphantly and inexplicably plants his foot on its head. In the grand scheme of life, per Malick, nature’s brute strength and cruelty are embedded in our very DNA.

A majority of the film centers on Jack’s childhood relationship with his parents and two younger siblings.  Brad Pitt, with his tense, square jaw and simmering intensity, conveys an imposing  presence in the lives of the children as a bitter disciplinarian who values power and strength as a means to success. Read the rest of this entry »

Omar Ahmad

HUSSEIN RASHID and WAJAHAT ALI

Religion Dispatches

Last week we spoke of Osama Bin Laden, a man who represented no one and offered nothing but hate. How many other people died that day, their death unnoticed and unmarked?

This week, we lost a real Muslim leader, a man who offered hope, compassion, love, humor, and most importantly, friendship. Omar Ahmad, the Mayor of San Carlos, California, was a real American leader who was also Muslim. He represented more than himself; he was the voice of his community—a community comprised of all the people who came into contact with him. As mayor he had constituents; he was also a man who had many friends. We can only begin by listing the traits that made him a 21st-century Hemingway.

Omar Ahmed: Mayor of San Carlos; lover of fine cigars; spinner of great yarns; Silicon Valley entrepreneur; passionate aviator; mountain climber; cowboy boot aficionado; leader; visionary; friend.

Death did not take him today; instead, we prefer to say that he was just too much for life.

He would chide us that we should never speak of “Muslim” and “non Muslim.” He said, “I prefer ‘Neighbor.’”

Omar was quintessentially American. Born of immigrant parents from Pakistan, he helped to shape the technological world in which we live. He worked at high-level position at Grand Central (now Google Voice), Netscape, and Napster. He once said that when the order came to close Napster as a file sharing service, he was the one who had to “pull the plug.”

Despite his technological wizardry, he was firmly committed to building his community the old-fashioned way, by getting to know you. He says on his website, “If you ever have questions regarding who I am or what I believe, please feel free to ask me. It will be through open dialog that we will get to know each other!” He leveraged his good-natured spirit in politics, and was elected to the City Council of San Carlos, and from there, to the Mayor’s Office. In that position, he did what every American mayor does, he fought with the Firemen’s Union.

In all his activities, he remained committed to his faith. He helped nurture and train Muslim-American leadership. He was a behind-the-scenes mover, who used his vast entrepreneurial experience to make sure the next generation would be able to build real, lasting community relationships with our neighbors. We admired him, notbecause he was Muslim, but because being Muslim made him do admirable things.

When we think of Muslim-America, we think of Omar. There was no distinction for him between his faith and his country, and he sought to do right by both. When we think of role-models for our community, we think of Omar. He gave only what was best—and he gave it everyday for everyone, regardless of their color or religion.

But he was not bigger than life. Despite all his accomplishments, he was humble, grounded, full of conviction, congenial, and approachable. But his spirit, energy, relentless curiosity, and fierce intellect could not be anchored. What else can be said about a man who was an avatar of passion in gaudy cowboy boots?

He is a mensch to be remembered. In ten years, his passing will be remembered as the greatest loss to Muslim American leadership in 2011. He lived more in 46 years than most of us do in three lifetimes.

Most people leave us behind. He left us moving forward.

Niqab: a face veil covering the lower part of the face (up to the eyes) worn by some Muslim women

Hijab:  The headscarf worn by Muslim women that covers the hair.

Author: Anonymous Muslim Hijabi Woman

Niqab is a form of kink. It says precisely the same thing that a Playboy cover does–namely, my whole body is one big sex machine. The only difference is the response…a cover model says “so I’ll flaunt it” and a munaqaba says “so I’ll hide it”.

The interesting thing about niqab, however, is that it’s an equal opportunity sex display. To be a Playboy cover model, you have to be a Size 2 with great hair, great boobs, great skin, and a great face. That’s like 1% of the female population. But anybody can cover up. I’m not surprised that so many women find niqab empowering, because it allows them to hide what they perceive as their flaws in the most tantalizing way possible. It allows them, in a strange paradoxical way, to compete with the 1% of perfect women. And it works! By making men work for it, to put in bluntly, they up their perceived social value.

By wearing niqab a plain woman becomes as hard to get as a Playboy model, and men respond accordingly.

Brilliant in kind of a sick way. I’m not a niqab fan.

“A spokesman for Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari says the president held an emergency meeting with top security officials Monday morning to discuss the announcement that Osama bin Laden has been killed. The spokesman said Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani, armed forces chief Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani and intelligence chief Lt. Gen. Ahmed Shuja Pasha were among those in attendance. The spokesman said the foreign ministry was preparing a formal statement.”

The Emergency Meeting:

(The following dialogue must be read in hyperbolic, melodramatic fashion as popularized by South Asian TV serials)

President Zardari (Z) anxiously twirls his mustache and frantically paces around. He keeps obsessively applying coconut oil to his hair. He is wearing a matching burgundy silk sleeping suit and pajamas.

General Kayani (K) is shining his numerous medals and pins on his General’s jacket. Prime Minister Gilani (G) is obsessively Googling. Director of ISI (Inter-Services Intelligence) General Ahmed Shuja Pasha (P) is melancholy, and BBM’ing in the corner by his lonesome.

ardari: Shit, yaar! (Yaar is Urdu for homie, friend, pal) Amreeka found Osama! They came here, killed him and then told us!

Gilani: Total shit, yaar!

Kayani: Total mind-blasting shit, yaar!

Z: Did any of you know about this? Why didn’t anyone tell me Amreeka was doing this operation?

Gilani: You explicitly told us never to bother you when you wore your “special pajamas” -

Kayani: Or applied coconut oil -

G: For your “fertility” sessions.

Z: (Embarrassed) – Not fertility! Vitality! I told you for vitality sessions!

K: Regardless, you explicitly said you never want to hear bad news, and instead want to be told, “Papu Yaar, taang na kar.” (It literally means “Dude, stop bothering me.”)

Z: (Like a confused child) Yaar, is this news bad?

Kayani and Gilani exchange worried, awkward glances.

Z: At least tell me they found him in some remote, isolated location in Waziristan?

G: Nope, right in the heart of Abbottabad!

Z: Kutey ja putta! (Son of a Dog!)

K: Within the military cantonment of Abottabad…

Z: Ghasti Kay Bachay! (Son of a Bitch!)

K: 800 yards from the elite military training academy -

Z: Uloo Ka Pata! (Son of an Owl!) Hiding in a ditch or a cave?

K: Living in a heavily fortified compound…”custom built to hide someone of significance.”

Z: Ranayadha! (Son of a Whore!)

G: Please, boss, your blood pressure.

Z: Kitne Aadmi the? (How many men were there?)

K: In all, 79 commanders and a dog.

Z: Moomeh! (Boobs!)

K: You or the Prime Minister should really make a statement now…

G: Shit, yaar! The entire operation was live tweeted by @Really Virtual!

K: Is he ISI?

ISI Director Pasha sadly shakes his head “no.”

Z: Abey yaar, my head hurts. First, let’s drink some whiskey and eat mangoes.

G: Thank God, I just finished my morning prayers. Perfect time for a drink!

K: No need, I have my own flask.

They offer whiskey to Pasha, who keeps ignoring them. Z, K, and G drink. Z fills up the glasses again, downs it, and pounds it.

Z: Dhila lan de padiash! (Born by a loose penis!) I’m still upset! Let’s take out our frustration on one of my servants. Saleem!

Enter Saleem, a servant. Z slaps him for no reason.

Z: Thank you, Saleem, that made me feel much better.

Saleem: Koy baat neyhee, boss. (No worries, boss)

Z: Yaar, I just can’t focus. Can’t we think of some bakhwass (Nonsense) tomorrow?

K: We sadly cannot, yaar. Major world leaders are making announcements. And, considering Osama was found here -

G: Yaar, Z, you really need to say something now.

Z: Shit, yaar, let’s have the Foreign Minister say some bakhwass. What’s he doing in the corner?

The FM is watching the blockbuster Bollywood movie “3 Idiots” on the “Bollywood 4 You” cable channel.

Z: Arey, Ghoray Ki Nasal! (Hey, progeny of a horse!) You’re sitting there doing mutte maar (Masturbation) as the U.S. has us by our tatte (Testicles) and we’re getting our bund mara (Our butts reamed)?

FM: Sorry, yaar, but this movie really is great! Amir Khan is such fantastic, mind-blasting actor, such a perfectionist!

K: Abey, Mangaithar Bakra! (Hey, Mangy Goat!) Write up something now or else you’ll be Amir Khan’s chuddees (Soiled Undergarments) tomorrow!

FM: Can I please pause the movie? We have Tivo now.

G:…Fine. You can pause it.

Z: Speaking of Bollywood, I’m sure those Indian haramzaday (Bastards) are laughing at us now!

K: Wouldn’t be surprised. If I was in their chapals (Sandals) right now, I’d sure rub it in – rub it in real good.

G: Madrechod, yaar! (Motherf$%*, man!) The Indian Home Minister just said Pakistan is a “terrorist sanctuary.”

Z: Sala haramkhore! (Bastard!) What did they say exactly?

G: “…terrorists belonging to different organizations find sanctuary in Pakistan.”

Z: (Defiantly!) That’s it! This will not be tolerated any longer!

K: What do you plan on doing, yaar!

Z: (Triumphantly rises!) Absolutely nothing!

And then Z immediately sits down.

They all sit there confused and agitated. K takes a swig from his flask and polishes his medals. G resumes Googling. The FM has secretly pressed unpause and resumes watching a muted “3 Idiots” on Bollywood 4 You.

Z: (Increasingly frustrated and now needs a scapegoat. Sees ISI Director Pasha in the corner and explodes on him) This is all your fault! First, the Raymond Davis-CIA-double murder debacle! Now, this bloody mess! God-damn ISI with their bloody secrecy and shady bed partners!

Pasha: Oy, shut your beak, you oiled son of a goat herding dullah (Pimp)! I just lost a friend today!

Z: No one tells Zardari to shut his beak!

K: Actually, yaar, all of us tell you to shut your beak…all the time…and you always listen.

Z: (Twirling his moustache, Z says the following with dramatic flair, doing his best Clint Eastwood “Man with No Name” impression) Zardari ke taap se tumhe ek hi aadmi bacha sakta hai, ek hi aadmi, khud Zardari. (“Only one man can save you from Zardari’s anger, only one man, Zaradri himself!”)

Pasha takes out a Kalashnikov and points it at Zardari.

Pasha: (Doing his best Clint Eastwood “Dirty Hairy” Impression) Tera kya hoga, Sala? (“What will happen to you, Punk?” – a rendition on the famous lines uttered in the Bollywood blockbuster movie “Sholay”)

Kayani takes out his rifle and points it at Pasha.

K: (Doing his best Clint Eastwood “Gran Torino” Impression) Ab Tera kya hoga, Sala? (“Now what will happen to you, Punk?”)

G: Stop! Stop! Stop acting like ghadas! (Asses)! Obama is speaking now!

Obama on Al Jazeera Live: “Our counterterrorism cooperation with Pakistan helped lead us to bin Laden”

Sigh of relief. All exhale. Kayani and Pasha lower their rifles.

K: This is good. It’s vague. Vague is good. We can work with…vagueness.

G: (Starts tweaking) Shit, man, shit! We’re totally screwed, yaar! If we say we worked with him, then we look like U.S. stooges. If we say we allowed them in, then we look like U.S. doormats. If we say we had nothing to do with it, then we look like namard buzdils! (Emasculated cowards!)

Kayani violently slaps Gilani to his senses!

Z: Yaar, this is too much for me – just totally too much. I’m tired. Let’s just think of some bakhwass tomorrow. In the meantime, Foreign Minister, just have Saleem, my servant, give an official response. Also, tell Saleem to start writing my Washington Post editorial.

Zardari curls up in a fetal position and sleeps on the floor sucking his thumb.

FM: Sure thing, yaar. Right after I finish watching Three Idiots!

After the movie ends and the Foreign Minister wipes away his tears, he addresses the nation with the following statement written by Saleem, the servant, saying the raid was carried out “in accordance with declared U.S. policy that Osama bin Laden will be eliminated in a direct action by the U.S. forces, wherever found in the world.”

The Foreign Minister then transcribes Zardari’s editorial for the Washington Post, again written by Saleem the Servant, in which Saleem says, “Pakistan has never been and never will be the hotbed of fanaticism that is often described by the media…Such baseless speculation may make exciting cable news, but it doesn’t reflect fact…Pakistan had as much reason to despise al-Qaeda as any nation. The war on terrorism is as much Pakistan’s war as it is America’s.”